I was going through a midlife crisis (as I like to call it) and called up a friend of mines. We’ve had natural hair talk before but today neither of us knew that today would start my journey. I asked her did she transition or did she just chop it off. After a few minutes I went and got my scissors from my bedroom & put her on speakerphone. She noticed that I got quiet and she asked me what I was doing & I told her staring in the mirror and about to chop all my hair off. Now a few days prior I asked my fiancé to trim my ends (he’s done it before so I didn’t mind plus I wore wigs anyway) but trimmed too much on one side & my hair was so uneven that even without wearing a wig I didn’t feel attractive.

After chopping all my hair off I was in a state of shock. I still had some straight ends so I kept cutting. Yes my hair was a little uneven still but it wasn’t a big deal since I was going to even it all out. After I evened my hair out I cried. My friend tried to comfort me & I sent her pictures of each step of my hair journey. Since I chopped all of my hair off I felt there wasn’t anymore damage I could do so I dyed it blonde (box dye) which I loved then I tried purple & hated it so I waited a few days and dyed it blonde again not knowing my hair would turn GREEN. That was a shock I was not prepared for. I waited a few weeks and redyed it blonde which was fine (and yes I’ve clipped those ends over time because I knew I damaged the little bit of hair I had).

I hear a lot of women say that they felt liberated & it was so empowering. Well I never had those emotions. I felt regret and depressed. I never had hair that short. Will I ever big chop again no.

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